Not here not there not anywhere
by PeterPandaBear
Summary: every where Sonny and Chad should kiss. So everywhere.“Response to ohhMOONshoesPOTTER’s ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ Challenge”
1. Chapter 1

**I know this is kinda late, but I saw this challenge and I had to do it.**

**I do not own Sonny with a Chance.**

_Not in that scene_

"What's the matter with you?"

"What's the matter with me? What's the matter with you? Wait those words didn't come out of your mouth."

Chad turns to see me; I hope he can see the steam coming out of my ears.

"We're sort of in the middle of a shoot here."

"And now you're sort of taking a break. Portland, you've got great legs, let's see how they move."

She walks away.

"Stay said sweetie"

Workers start moving the set around. OMG his face is flawless. His hair is so soft, I just want to reach out and touch it. Stop it Sonny! Just stop it.

"What's my problem," wow de ja vu, "My problem is that every thing my friends, and Towni, told be about you guys was true."

"And, what would that be?"

"You Mackenzie Falls people are jerks, and you're like the head jerk…"

He cuts me off. Is he supposed to cut me off? He's not supposed to cut me off. This is all wrong.

"Don't ruin the moment Sonny."

He's kissing me. I know this is not supposed to happen.

Why is this happening? Oh just shut up and enjoy it Sonny. Who asked you? ENJOY it. Alright I do. Shesh, stop bugging me.

He breaks away.

"What was that about?"

"Chad Dylan Cooper uses his own script. And I've had a crush on you for like ever."

"We just met each other, Chad."

"Did we Sonny, did we really?"

"Yes, we did really."

"Huh,"

**So that's the first in this contest collection.**

**Pleas review it's not that hard.**

**Point and click.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah I like this contest. My brain is overflowing with ideas and I haven't written any more chapters for my other stories, and I plan to soon.**

**If you haven't read my other stories please try them out.**

_In a dream_

It only took a few moments after falling asleep to figure out that I wasn't in my dream. I was dreaming all right, but not even my wildest dreams were like this. Everywhere I turned I saw pictures of Chad. Not that I haven't had dreams about Chad before, but this was a little much for my mind. I was either in Chad's dream or one of his groupies. Most likely a groupie, I mean even Chad cares about some things and people other than himself, I think.

I was too preoccupied with all the Chadness that I wasn't looking where I was going. This was some demented dream. I ran into something, something big, and I thought it was a Chad statue, but when I looked up I saw me, in my secret prom dress, my lips swollen from kissing. The copy was a little prettier then I was. Her hair under control, her eyes shinier, she was a little more hour-glassy. It was me, and I was beautiful.

She, me, it, turned and fled. She ran past the pictures and articles, and statues. She ran in front of a DVD shelf and somehow casted a shadow on the wall. More amazingly, opened the wall like a door, and ran in. I felt like Alice chasing the rabbit through wonderland. So I waved my hand in front of the shelf and, sure enough, it made shadows. The types of shadows made when you put your hands in front of a flashlight. I stopped moving my hand and walked up to the wall-door. I found a door knob, twisted and pushed. Two steps into the doorway I was falling. Falling down through a tunnel my dress opened up like a parachute and I was just glad I was wearing pants under it.

When I landed, I saw a door. A very tiny door. Then I saw a table. On the table, there was a bottle that read _Drink Me_. So I did. Aren't I smart? It shrunk me. I tried my luck at the door. No dice. Then I saw a key on the table. Great. Next to me appeared a brownie, with a plastic tag that read, _Eat Me._ I guess what I did next was pretty obvious. I slid the hunk of plastic between the door and the frame, the tag was ruined, but the door opened.

I saw Tawni looking in a mirror. She was perched up in a branch, she was purple and she had a flicking tail. Nico and Grady were laughing like two drunks; they were sipping tea at a very large table. I saw my rabbit run by, so I followed. I passed Zora playing some game with a flamingo. I followed my double to the most horrid sight of all. Thousands of girls, running around, following the ruling of, the king of heartbreaks: Chad. He walked around the area looking all noble and kingly, Shouting to the scurrying girls "DUMP HER. DUMP HER." It was sickening. This was no groupies dream. The worst part was when he put is arm around my rabbit's waist and pulled her in for a kiss. She pushed him away but still walked by him. Though I hate to admit it, this must be how the world seams to Chad. All about him. The Randoms as a side thing. He got everything he wanted, except me. I don't want Chad, He doesn't want me. I looked back and remembered something he said to me:

"I was invited, but I didn't want to come. Then I got uninvited, and I had to come."

He couldn't have me. So he had to have me. I now have some leverage. Trying my luck, I walked up to the King.

"Chad, what are you doing?"

He almost fell over.

"Sonny, what are you doing here?"

"You seam surprised to see me, Chad."

"You're not Sonny. You can't be the real Sonny. She would have slapped me already." I slapped him.

"Convinced?"

"Almost," He kissed me. It wasn't a wimpy kiss like the one he gave my double, it was a full one, a 'Let's go upstairs' kiss. So I punched him.

"I'm convinced,"

"Good,"

"Good"

"Fine"

"Fine"

"Good"

**Did you like it? What did you think? This was the best dream-thing I could come up with. You know I read somewhere that refusing a review button could be hazard to your health. Think about it **


	3. Chapter 3

**I know I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry, but I almost never have time to write, so just as a reward for putting up with me, I won't hold you here while I keep talking, so I should stop now, yeah I should probably stop now. You know the irony is that I'm still talking. Gosh, this must be getting annoying. But I think I might be stalling. Oh, and for everyone who is a fan of Twilight I read this really good story called One-Sided Bloodlust. Let me tell you it's awesome, it should be read. I realize now that I am talking more than I thought I was going to so, I'm gonna let you get to the story:**

**P.S. Enjoy**

_Not in a Car_

There's something about Sonny, the way she walks, that smile that could light up a room, something that makes her, for lack of a better word, Sonny. Or maybe it's the way, when offered a beyond perfectly good ride with TV's Chad Dylan Cooper to her apartment, she gets a cab. And maybe it's the fact that I felt the need to wait without her knowledge until the cab came. Or maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that I didn't mind it when she slapped me for getting in the cab with her.

Perhaps it's the fact that the cab driver didn't kick me out per Sonny's request. It could be the way that she didn't talk to me until two minutes after the driver went to pay for the gas we had to stop to get. Then again it might be the fact that I could convince her not to be mad at me. It's probably the way that she bought into my sappy story about my feelings for her. Possibly it's how the driver found us, sitting at opposite sides of the car.

Or it's just the way I found out Sonny's a really good kisser. :)

**How'd you like it? Please tell me. And I know it was short. And if you could say something bad about the Alabama Crimson Tide, (the football team) I'd really, really, appreciate it. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Yes I am here. There was a part of this contest, I really didn't think about: Not here, not there, not anywhere. And that can be a problem. The kiss near. Near What?!?!?**

**So this is what I got (I got this idea in Spanish class)**

_Not Near_

[Chad's POV]

Do you want to know how I knew something was wrong? Brenda gave Sonny a steak. A steak! And if I knew anything, I knew only two things: That the only way to get a steak out of Brenda is to get at least 9.5 out of ten on your show's ratings scale. And I knew Sonny was on So Random. The two just didn't add up.

So I checked the internet. So Random has a 9.7 on the scale, while Mackenzie Falls is only a 9.8. The horror. And I know what you're thinking, I'm still ahead of them, I know. But only by point one. That's 1 tenth of a point!!! They were so near. It was terrifying, to me, their nearness, and like a king protecting his crown, I had to do something, anything, this called for drastic measures. So I went to 'Congratulate' the girl with the new eating privileges.

**Nearness**

[Sonny's POV]

I don't know why Chad was coming over here. It was weird. Just like the steak. How the heck did that happen? I have no idea.

"Chad,"

"Sonny,"

"What are you doing here Chad?" I spit out sourly.

"I came to ask you a very important question," he said, tossing an apple up and catching it, he seemed very self-confident, "You've been dreaming about it your whole life,"

"What do you know about my dreams? _Chad_?" I hissed his name.

"Do you, Sonny Monroe, want to be my girlfriend?" Okay I have not been dreaming about that my whole life. Only the past couple of years. And if there's one thing I know about Chad, it's that didn't mean it.

So I started laughing, "Excuse me, Oh thanks for the laugh Chad, I really needed it."

He was about to say something when the lunch lady came up to us.

[Brenda's point of view]

I over heard enough of their conversation to know I made a mistake. And if there was only one rule I lived by, it was don't give a steak to just anyone. Chad Dylan Cooper was something special, so he got a steak. His cast was important to keep the show alive, so they got steaks. I thought Sonny Monroe was his secret girlfriend, the only one who meant something to him, so I gave her a steak.

"It looks like I made a mistake," I said as I scooped the plate up from under the nose of Sonny Monroe.

"Wait," Chad said, so I waited. "Why did you do that?"

"I told you Mr. Cooper, I made a mistake,"

"You didn't give it to her because So Random got high ratings?"

"No," I said. And I walked away fast, not wanting to explain to him why I gave her the steak to begin with.

[Chad's POV]

I had it all planed out. I was going to flirt with Sonny, romance her. Distract her enough to make her loose her concentration. The ratings would go down for her show, and all would be right with my world. Plus I'd be dating Sonny. And as much as I hate it, it is a plus.

"Can you excuse me for a moment?"

"Sure," she raised her eyebrows.

I checked my phone's internet. 5 different sites say that So Random still has a 9.4. That's just great. I should double check my sites before I go to drastic measures. Huh. I guess I should just walk away now, but, I can't shake this feeling.

"Are you done yet?" Sonny asked, I was sure she wanted to get to the more pressing matter.

"Yeah," I answer

"So, what was it you were saying?" Should I continue it? If she says no, then that'd be okay wouldn't it? I think, I'm not so sure anymore.

"Wo-Would yoo-you want to b-be my girlfriend?"

"I don't think I would like that," She said

The next part happened so quickly, she grabbed my tie, forcing me across the table, she was leaning over the table too, then she crushed her lips to mine, I could feel the electricity coursing through my body.

"I would love to."

[Brenda's POV]

I saw the scene unfold, ending with the kiss. Then I looked back down at the now empty plate that had once held the juicy piece of meat I just through out, and I went back into the kitchen, to get a new steak.

[Sonny's POV]

I knew by the look of pure disappointment on his face, right before I kissed him, that he had meant it; at least the second time. This could work.

**Did you like it? This was about all I could think of to do with the 'near' part, besides putting them on a street corner called near. **

**Review.**

**I was paid to say that.**

**Not really**


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